So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
