if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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