I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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