so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
