grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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