WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
