No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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