Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Acid is not a monday night drug
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
