I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
