Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
