you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
