Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
