It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
