looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
