OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
