when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
