where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
