Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
