TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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