he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize