I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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