we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My penis needs a shock collar
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
