When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
