That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
