Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
