I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
