ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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