how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
