I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
