the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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