I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
