I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
