They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
