Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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