Already got asked if we're dating
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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