What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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