so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
