My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
