Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize