I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
