It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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