Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
