Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
