Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
