i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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