what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
