I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
