shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
