we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am midnight drunk by noon
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
