I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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