Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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