I will die if light touches me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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