38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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