We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
