I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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