this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
