Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
