You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
