Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You need Xanax blowdarts
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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