i would punch a child for taco bell
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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