new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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