I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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