There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
