Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
