Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
