why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
