i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
