I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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