The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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