Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
